So, I go to the doctor this afternoon because I've been depressed, crying, stressed out, worried, anxious, you name it...I'm feeling it. So anyway, he askes me about my medical history and I tell him both my mom and maternal grandma are on thyroid meds...he immediately thinks it's an underactive thyroid causing this and wants to draw blood. Fine good ahead, maybe that's part of it but damn it, I know that I am depressed. In the beginning he asked me if I'd thought about hurting myself. Yes, I have. Do you have a plan. No, I don't. I couldn't do that to my friends and family. I know how badly I am hurting losing Vic, I couldn't do that to them. No matter how much pain I am in. So, he gives me a sample pack of Lexapro and something to help me sleep. The whole thing cost me $142, that I don't really have. And that doesn't inclulde blood work. I give up.
I called my friend that is an Army Reserve Recruiter to find out about ADSW (Active Duty Special Work) to see if I can earn some extra money. I have to get him all my info frist thing tomorrow morning so he can get his commander to approve it. He also told me that I have until next Tuesday to get him a copy of my college transcripts so that he can take them to UNC-Charlotte and get me into the ROTC program next summer. I'm going to get my bachelor's degree and become an officer in the Reserves for the remainder of my 20yrs. If it wasn't for him pushing me, I'd just get out in January when my current enlistment is up. I guess it's good that he is pushing me not to give up cause that's probably what I need right now. Since I have NO direction in my life.
