Long Nights
9:21 a.m. 2003-08-20

Long Nights and Longer Days Wednesday morning. It was a very long night last night with no sleep. All I kept thinking about was things I could have done differently or said differently to keep Vic from killing himself. Ultimately, I know that nothing I could have said or done would change things and I need to stop doing that but during the times that I miss him so much it's hard not to think about the what could have and would have been's. My biggest problem with talking about this is that I'm afraid that people will think I am weak and a cry baby or whiner. That's why I don't talk about it, why I keep it bottled up until I explode. Maybe this will help, having a place to unload. Who knows? But it's worth a shot.

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